Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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