That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
