But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
