it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
