Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
