Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
