Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
