what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
