i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
