I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
