i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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