I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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