dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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