Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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