and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
