Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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