Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
