im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
