i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just want to make out with him forever
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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