I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize