She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
