what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
