I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
