i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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