I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
