His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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