At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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