how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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