I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
