I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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