Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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