currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
