I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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