If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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