she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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