it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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