I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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