Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
