Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
