Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
