is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
