I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
