I smell stomach acid.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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