so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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