Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
