Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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