I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
