She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
