gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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