so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm really busy with my period
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