I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
