I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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