He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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