My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
