I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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